Scott's Notebook

Gardening

2009-04-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

Grip tightly the wheelbarrow,
The shovel, the rake
Tiny tools building a thousand worlds
That lay dormant where soon will be
The wake of your work
And with a stiff back and sore hands
You’ll rest again
And what’s good of the sting will ensure your sleep,
Resting and waking to create every day
In our Father’s image

Chimney Smoke

2009-02-23T19:57:00.000-08:00

The screened sky was filled with a song
As a choir of chimneys
Sent their silent smoke-signals into the air,
Singing to the staring onlooker
“Inside we are warm.”

The snow mingled with the ash
And made soft carpet before his feet
So that every footstep trod on just-born land
The wind and water enemies
So soon became his friends
That when they were dismissed quietly at a doorway,
By the weary body they’d born home,
They left an indelible impression on his thoughts

We are what we seem

2009-02-15T06:43:00.000-08:00

We are what we seem
Liars, lovers; fools and fabled heroes
Mark wearers and image bearers
We are a sum of chosen paths
Assumers and ascetics
All aesthetics
We can pool all our power and burst
Like lightning
Or burn slow and soft in dim twilights
Ascending animals or abdicating angels
All members of the race
From whom God did create His face

Snowflakes

2009-02-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

The tangled tantrums of the storm
Form every feather flake a different way
But no shape sneaks past your eyes unseen
Who gives each child games to play
And knows the swaying sparrow’s soon-come hour.

Let me listen while the air leans east
And crystals attract, repel, collide
And let nature’s working fall, at least
Upon a sympathetic eye.

Chandeliers (poem)

2009-01-29T13:13:00.000-08:00

Well thought theories about the theological studies
Of a perceived system below the surface
Effect little more than tired eyes, too heavy,
Unable to lift hands to try
What they’ve been taught
About neighbors and the nature of this world and that other,
Coming, claiming, commanding, and comforting
Saving and suspending them over the rocks
Of a life lived as the lover of one’s own soul
Letters from their only true love
Tell them to be a light unto the World
And so from His lifted, saving hands
They dangle like chandeliers, fragile as fireflies
They’re less like stars, more like moons,
Or pinholes in the roof;
Some day there’ll be more stabs than ceiling
And it will all collapse
Then they will dance like damsels who’ve escaped their dragons.

Philosophy: a few months and what has changed?

2007-08-22T10:35:00.001-07:00

I originally posted this on my myspace blog
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Given that I don't update very often, I don't expect many people check my profile for new additions on a regular basis. I myself don't even do so for people who do update frequently. My blogging is spasmodic at best. Of course, this isn't without reason, I know over the past few years my personal views have been subject to abrupt and frequent change, in other words, I'm a bit fickle. Theologically I've have made several changes in the 6-7 years since I entered college:
-"Non-Denominational"/Wesleyan-Methodist
-Lutheran
-Reformed (broad sense)
-Episcopal
-Presbyterian
-Episcopal
-Lutheran again
-Reformed Baptist (small stint, I'd really rather not talk about it)
-Lutheran for nearly the last time
-Anglo-Catholic/Episcopal

However, Philosophically, while I made some adaptive, minor changes with regards to detail (i.e. from deontologist to prima facie deontologist), only one major change was enacted: from premodern/objectivism to existentialism.

Given that these two subjects (religion and philosophy, the name of my major in fact) are so closely related, you would think I would have noticed the disproportionate number of shifts in one versus the other. Unfortunately it was not to be so, I remained unaware, and as that philosophical exchange was inacted, subtly my understanding of theology began to change. Little did I realize my philosophy and theology were subconciously competing for the ruling seat in my mind, or the fact that my philosophy was winning. I began to, unknowingly, cease searching for the right answer and began to search for the "meaningful" answer, stop searching for the truth and begin searching for comfort, stop defending truth but defending that comfort.

Of course, it was all a failure, the simul justus only comforted so long as it was new and I felt the weight of the peccator; the t.u.l.i.p. only smelled sweet when I could ignore the manure; and the via media only gave me rest when I was halfway between two points and too tired to finish the trip. The more of a harlot I became, the cheaper the payback. When in Lutheran mode I would intentionally sin in order to feel justified, when in calvinist mode I would intentionally do "that which was in me" so that I could trust alone in soverignity, and when in episcopal mode I would practice my rituals faithfully so that I could neglect my unfaithful interiority.

If only I could have realized then the source of my true ills, and just how bankrupt my new philosophical account was.

I came by it honestly enough. It's difficult for a first-year college student, a boy convinced of his own unassailable apologetic, to encounter Hume and Kant. Where they made dints in my proverbial armor, rather than repair them, I abandoned armor altogether. Where Kant had inflicted a minor wound (in his critiques, of course, of the "proofs" for God's existence) and I was in desperate need of treatment, existentialism (particularly Kierkegaard's) offered to me instead a poison disguised as antiseptic, and I continued to use it as I grew sick, trusting someday it would finally make me well again.

But, all things in God's good time, I came around- during Mass no less. I realized that the world of existentialism and postmodernism is exactly the world as it does not present itself too us. The senses and emotions are not objects in and of themselves but responses to what is exterior. To focus on the sensation is to lose it's source, and to focus on the choice is to loose what is being chosen. There is no basis whatsoever for the semi-solipsistic understanding of reality which existentialism requires. There is no reason to believe that reality is in some sense our own creation, in fact it argues to us that it is not.

Even if someone where to existentially choose Christianity, the moment they did they must give up existentialism, via Ecclesiastes 6:10 and Hebrews 11:6.

Where am I now philosophically? Who knows? I know I'm not where I was, I know it took me six years to get there, so it might take me six years to undue it. But above all I know that existentialism, as I took it, leads the wrong way. I say as I took it because, of course, it was my version of existentialism, not Kierkegaard's or Sartre's, or anyone else's for that matter, that did the damage. It was my understanding of subjectivity, but I think the poison seems to run throughout. Perhaps my emotions are still a little misleading.

Any feedback, either direction, would be appreciated.

God Bless

New Funny Thought for the Weekend- Holidays

2006-12-09T10:04:00.000-08:00

In the Year 2000...

Holidays, otherwise known as "Holy Days," like Christmas, will be removed from the winter vernacular because of it's religious implications.

Thus

"Happy Holidays" will be replaced with "Happy Days,"
reindeer with Harleys,
and "Ho ho ho" with "EEEEHHHHYYYY"

Please pray for me...

2006-11-27T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm applying this week to the Boston Teacher Residency program. If I get in, I spend a year in a classroom setting, with a mentor teacher, doing coursework, and earn an MA in Education and a Teaching License. I really want to work as a teacher, and I really want to be back in Boston. I hope this is the direction God is leading me and not just my own wishful thinking. Please pray for Erin and I. Thanks.

-Scott

Funny Thought for the Weekend- Wiretapping

2006-11-17T15:35:00.000-08:00

In the Year 2000...

Wiretapping will become a common means of the government identifying any and all dissenters; not the least of which will be the government regulated placement of a "Department for Communications Monitoring" inside every data management company.

Known affectionately as the "Tapping Dat" department.

Funny Thought for the Week... Predictions

2006-11-11T08:33:00.000-08:00

I thought it might be nice to break up some of the monotony a little bit on here and do a series of humouros thoughts for the week, inspired by Conan O'Brien's "The Year 2000..." predictions. The first one is on music:

In the Year 2000...

With continued cross-blending of musical genres and the increasing presense of in-home recording software, music will again become a personal endeavor, all concerts local, and all musicians composers

In other words...

Rockstars will go back to their previous occupations, playing with themselves.

Thought for the weekend- Church History

2006-11-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

I think most Church Historians I've read have been far too political; not that they are seeking apolitical office of course, but they seem to think their first task is to "deny, deny!"

Thought for the week- Sin and the Mind

2006-10-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

To overcome any sin, of course, you need the work of the Holy Spirit; but sometimes you just need a rational voice to tell you just how preposterous of an idea or thought or feeling the sin is.

Thought for the Week- Anxiety

2006-10-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

Missed the thought this weekend because we were moving into our new apartment. That's right, we're finally adults (maybe). Anyway, here's the make-up thought:

To a certain extent, our anxieties are our "suffering with Christ."

Thought for the Weekend- Sanctification

2006-10-14T06:11:00.000-07:00

Sanctification is, perhaps, the process of becoming in line with the first commandment.

Thought for the Weekend- Arrogance

2006-10-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

Arrogance is like wearing mirrors instead of glasses, you can look behind you and see why you shouldn't have been arrogant back then, but can't look around to see why you should be arrogant now.

The Book... pt. 2

2006-10-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

Just a note:

I decided to drop the price on the book, I thought 13 bucks was a bit high, so now it's just under 10.

My First Book

2006-09-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

I've published my first book of poetry on Lulu.com this week. I'm excited about it. Check it out here. Support a starving artist, if you feel so inclined.

Thought for the weekend

2006-09-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

Every heresy makes at least one valid point.

Thought for the week

2006-09-06T10:44:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start trying to do these every Wednesday.

While no one wants to end up aknowledging God with their lips and yet have their hearts far from Him, religious devotions that aren't always driven by an intense sense of piety aren't tantamount to doing so- rather, they are a means of "preparing the way" so that Jesus may enter into our hearts.

Life isn't full of the amazing, but also the daily and mundane.

Can you imagin living with a spouse or parent where every conversation was emotionally charged? The consistency of what we call mundane and take for granted is the foundation on which the spectacular things depend.

Religious habits in the same way are the means of openening lines of communication with God.

Thought for the weekend

2006-09-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Some things are too good to be true, but this is because of the darkness of human hearts, seeking to take advantage of others; other things are so good that they must be true, because of the overwhelming goodness of God.

Faith, to some extent, may mean trusting in the goodness of God.

blog blog blog

2006-08-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

It seems it's been awhile since I've put anything up on here. It seems I just can't find a niche' that I'm satisfied with for this format. I do a lot of writting on my own, but very little of it would I be willing to share with the world. I don't want to shut the site down though either. I might just start sharing an thought for the week for the time being and see what happens.

So here we go:

Is it irreverent, if not a little sacreligious, to have not merely a "low" view of Scripture, but a "simple" view of Scripture- i.e. a broad general solution to the question "how is it the Word of God?"

Proper 12

2006-07-26T15:34:00.000-07:00

July 30th, 2006

Proper 12 Lectionary B
Psalm 114
2 Kings 2:1-15
Eph 4:1-7,11-16
Mark 6:45-52

The Collect

O God, the protector of all that trust in thee, without whom nothing is strong, nothing is holy: Increase and multiply upon us thy mercy, that, thou being our ruler and guide, we may so pass through things temporal, that we finaly lose not things eternal; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever, Amen.

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Where does the Holy Spirit fit into your theology?
Is He confined in anyway?
Do you expect Him to work in anyway?

I know I have tried to quarentine the Spirit a time or two; I've lavelled any expectations of the work of the Spirit under the heading of a "theology of glory."

But maybe this "theology of glory" I'm so quick to dismiss is actually Biblical theology. Of course, the Scriptures do not teach the self-righteousness of independent humanity. But it does tell us the Spirit is active in the work of restoring the whole world to its Holy design.

The Bible illustrates points at which the Spirit was at work in miraculous ways and directs us to the common areas of life He is also involved in daily. We find it so natural to put God in our boxes, and like the disciples we're frightened when He steps out. He comforts us during these times- these times when we realize we have no idea what we're dealing with.

I wonder what it must be like to have a "double-portion" of the Spirit? What's that mean anyway?

Isa 57:14-21

2006-07-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

July 23, 2006
Proper 11 Lectionary B (BCP)
Psalm 22:22-30
Isa 57:14-21
Ephesians 2:11-22
Mark 6:30-44

The Collect-

Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom; you who know our neccesities before we ask and our ignorance in asking: Have compassion on our weakness, and mercifully give us those things which for our unworthiness we dare not, and for our blindness we cannot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reign with you and the Holy Spirit, one God now and forever. Amen.

Isa 57:14-22

Build up, build up, prepare the way,: remove every obstruction from my people's way."
For thus says the high and lofty one: who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
I dwell in the high and holy place,: and also with those who are contrite and humble in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the humble,: and to revive the heart of the contrite.
For I will not continually accuse,: nor will I always be angry;
for then the spirits would grow faint before me,: even the souls that I have made.
Because of their wicked covetousness I was angry;: I struck them, I hid and was angry;; but they kept turning back to their own ways.
I have seen their ways, but I will heal them;: I will lead them and repay them with comfort,; creating for their mourners the fruit of the lips.
Peace, peace, to the far and the near, says the LORD;: and I will heal them.
But the wicked are like the tossing sea: that cannot keep still;; its waters toss up mire and mud.
There is no peace, says my God, for the wicked.

What about God scares you? What about yourself scares you? What in yourself causes you to fear God?

I know I often feel confused, wondering if their is any sign in my day to day life of the work of God. I always come back with mixed answers and try to console myself- too no avail.

Sometimes I feel like a sheep without a shepard (ref. passage in Mark); its hard to find the anchor. If I don't always hear God's voice, am I just not listening hard enough?

In this passage I read His promise; if I am far off He will heal me. I know I am an heir of that promise because I am baptized and I believe. Instead of looking to myself, I come to Christ in prayer. Regardless of my situation, I want Christ.

Somedays I pray there is a purgatory, because my soul is not prepared.

2 Corinthians 12:2-10

2006-07-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12:2-10
I know a person in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven-- whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows. And I know that such a person-- whether in the body or out of the body I do not know; God knows-- was caught up into Paradise and heard things that are not to be told, that no mortal is permitted to repeat. On behalf of such a one I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. But if I wish to boast, I will not be a fool, for I will be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think better of me than what is seen in me or heard from me, even considering the exceptional character of the revelations. Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

What was Paul's thorn? A physical infirmity? Who knows? What it was is not important, but what it did for him-- it forced him to rely on God. Specifically it caused him to be dependent upon God's graciousness.

I think that's how it should work. I can think of a number of "thorns in my flesh" which constantly remind me that all I have is God's grace- I have nothing good of my own. Whenever I realize how needy I am, then I can only hold on to Christ.

Sometimes we have the opposite reaction though. We look at our thorns and then find pride in how well we are baring them- or how well we hide them. Our thorns cause us to bleed to death.

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner.